An American Sporting Night Out & Jack Black’s Brother…?

The Staples Centre, downtown LA.

No American Adventure would be complete without seeing them at their most primitive – prime time sports action!! We headed down to the Staples Centre to catch the LA Kings take on the Ottawa Senators in that all confusing, kinda violent & ‘you can’t do that in Australia’ Yankee culture clash of Ice Hockey! I will freely admit that I knew nothing about the sport upon entering the arena. I’d talked to a few Americans over the Tango Tour as I’d been tossing up what kind of event we should head to – baseball, basketball etc. With the Superbowl having wrapped up the NFL, Basketball in Aus that neither of us have ever really gotten into & it being too cold for Baseball, Ice Hockey seemed like the perfect choice. I’d tried to get a basic grasp on the rules but the only real rule I gleaned was that it was OK to fight but as soon as one of the guys hit the ice, that was it. The ref’s would only intervene once someone had fallen over!! Otherwise, it was a free for all!!

The subway station @ Hollywood & Vine has old film cannisters over the roof! It's a pretty cool effect.

The spectacle also wasn’t contained to the action on the ice. The entire night, proceedings & every spare minute was taken up with something. And I just don’t mean an announcement, I’m talking competitions, dancing, light show, projection, SMS voting, giveaways! Everything so that your mind was totally occupied for the entire night! All in all in probably provided an extra 1/2hr to 45mins onto the night!! Even when there was a foul & they has to get the puck back – similar to the boundary ump getting the ball back & throwing it in for the AFL - there was ‘total entertainment’!! It was great to finally see t-shirt cannons! They’d been on the Simpsons, in movies but I had never seen them in 3D (seem to be crossing a lot off that list in LA..?!?). They can shoot them quite a distance! Very cool.

We don’t bat an eyelid at home when there’s a break between quarters in the footy or if there’s nothing happening whilst Ponting & the boys have a drinks break. If Americans ever went to an Aussie sporting event, they’d get bored & restless & maybe have to have, god forbid it, independent thought & occupy their own headspace for more than 2mins…!!

Just to prove we were there, can you see the sign on the hill...?

I gotta admit though, it was a great night. We had a few beers, ate hotdogs & pizza & generally kept the crowd around us entertained as we laughed and tried to make sense of what was going on!! LA Kings won by the way, 3-1 & there was a fight but we didn’t see it live!! We saw it on the monitors as we were buying another round of beer & snacks before the crowds converged at the break between the 2nd & 3rd periods! D’oh!

As a way to wrap up the Trip Of The Brothers, seeing as Ric headed off home via Tokyo & I head across to Vegas before returning home for 5 weeks, we went back to a bar we’d frequented a few nights before. It was called Red Rock and one of the bar tenders, Dave, looked like & spoke exactly like Jack Black, well, more like Jack Blacks older brother! He was a great bloke & upon entering, he bought us our first round!! Nice! This stemmed from a very valuable lesson & the only way that I can ever justify tipping in the States…

Ric & I, watching Ice Hockey, well we did, after we posed for this photo!

Side Note: As I’m sure you’re aware, you HAVE to tip in the States. Minimum 10% but the norm seems to be 15% nowadays!! The tired & true throw away line is “they live off their tips”! That’s fair enough that tips is a way of supplementing your income & it’s not that I’m like Mr Pink from “Reservoir Dogs” (which is what Dan calls me when we’re out!), I will tip if the service, food & any number of other things lead me to have a lazy breakfast, a quick bite to eat, a catch up with friends BUT I HATE being told “your meal/experience was worth 10% of the bill!” And if you tip only 10% or god forbid, even less, they ask you if something was wrong..! As Ric found out when we had Indian with Chuck. Ric handed over the bill and we hadn’t calculated correctly (about 8%) and a group of them came over & wanted to know what was wrong!!

The LA Kings taking on the Ottawa Senators!

Now some of you maybe sitting there, reading this, shaking your head and uttering “it’s how they make a living Tim, have a heart” & I might possibly agree with you if the Government didn’t tax them on the amount of tips they thought they’d earnt over the course of the financial year… If they tax ‘imaginary money’ (& I bet their guestimates are based on more than 10% tips) why the hell don’t all the service people strike until their wage is increased..? Why should I have to supplement someone elses income, that gets taxed, with my hard earned cash..? The Govt should increase minimum wages if people have to “live off their tips” that gets taxed, therefore making it a ‘wage’, in the first place! Crazy I tells you – and don’t even get me started on how annoying wait staff can be to ensure that the three sips you’ve had from your water has been refreshed & you hear the the saying “Everything OK here?”. It was until you pestered me again! And all for a minimum 10%... that should be coming from the till, not my wallet! There I’ve said it. Rant over..!

Tipping bar staff how ever, works entirely in your favour! Tip $3-4 on your first round, same again on the 2nd & then you alternate between $1-2 for the rest of the night & you will be poured generous measures, a free drink here & there, faster service etc. This works only if the bar isn’t that busy or you keep returning to the same barman. It also works in the States as they ‘free pour’, they don’t use a 30-50ml measure, they pour as much liquor into your glass that they think is worth $6 – after a decent few rounds of tipping, they think you deserve twice the amount. So it’s win, win. Even after tipping well, you’re still getting 20-30% of the prices! In this respect, “I happily flashed my cash”! Hence why ‘Jack’ (Dave) put the first round of beers & a Jagermeister shot each, on the house! We insisted he join us & we bought him a shot.

Myself, Dave 'Jack' The Barman & Ric

He was a great guy, very enthusiastic in the way that he spoke but he seemed quite intelligent. He’d spent some time in the Marines & had seen some ‘pretty bad shit’. He introduced us to Renee & Alisha, who were also Aussies, who were over buying product for Big W…! What a weird job! They were both pretty cool. He was introducing us to a few people who were in the bar. A few DJ’s, one of the LA Kings players, a few filmmakers (no one of note!). A wide mix of people. We were locked in at the end of the night – as in everyone else got kicked out & we were allowed to hang back for a couple of quiet ones, on the house! Was quite nice & echoed times down along Southbank, Melbourne where a few bars did the same to us Arts Centre techs.

It was a great way to wrap up our Adventure together. It’s flown by, doesn’t seem like 5.5 weeks at all! We’ve done a lot & it has done nothing but further strengthen our mateship, on top of being brothers. I’ve got one more day here before heading off, whilst Ric takes on Tokyo solo. Dave has invited me back for ‘one more for the road’ before I hit Vegas…

The Blundell Brothers Shadows on Sunset Strip

Come Ride With Me, Let’s Ride, Let’s Ride Away! (Disney vs Universal)

Well, upon heading to the States I never really envisioned entering a Theme Park, let alone two! Upon Ric’s arrival he started talking up the idea of going to an Adventure Park & getting a roller coaster fix. As I’d already clocked up Disneyland, the choice was left up to him. Due to it being Winter & reduced Opening Hours, there was really only the one option - Universal Studios. It wasn’t the worst option & it did promise us a few thrills & spills.

Pretty self explanatory really..!

Upon entering it seemed quite reminiscent of Disneyland but upon closer inspection of their ‘map’, there seemed less ‘rides’ & more ‘entertainment’. Seeing as it was only 11am & there was fairly few people around, we decided we’d get our fix of ‘Jurassic Park’ & ‘The Mummy’ first. This proved to be an excellent choice! As there was nobody around, they let you ride on ‘The Mummy’ twice in a row before you had to get off!! ‘The Mummy’ was a Universal take on ‘Space Mountain’ – you went on the rollercoaster in the pitch black but the difference being that things would leap out at you etc. You then literally hit a wall at the end of the course & then the whole thing went backwards, on a different track until you reached the beginning. It was pretty good but ‘Space Mountain’ beats it due to the fact that ‘The Mummy’ doesn’t have enough twists & turns – it probably travels over the height of 2 stories where as ‘Space’ has about 5 stories of height to twist, turn & drop over.

Ric & I on 'Jurassic'.

On our second double turn I will admit, I screamed!! When you ‘hit the wall’ (& you do!) a projection of scarab beatles swarming out of the wall appears – as this happens (& I didn’t feel this the first 2 times) all these little brushes flick @ your ankles and legs. Well, I screamed (more of a decent manly shout!). Had I felt it the first time, I don’t think I would have yelled as loudly – and that’s honest, I would have screamed but not with as much volume. Because this was a ‘new’ element to the ride & I was enjoying the adrenaline, it scared the living sh*t out of me!!

Myself & the boys getting ready to board Apollo 13... Tom wouldn't let me drive!!

Next to be assaulted by the Blundell Bruddas was ‘Jurassic Park’. Now this wins hands down over ‘Splash Mountain’. Granted, ‘Splash’ had the added element of no safety harness at all (which I still find weird in this day & age) but Jurassic dropped some 83 feet, where as ‘Splash’ was only 50 odd feet. It was a great thrill. Also, the preamble to get to the drop was far better than ‘Splash’. It was an ‘actual’ tour through ‘Jurassic Park’ before it all goes to hell & you’re assaulted by Velociraptos & T-Rex’s etc. And even though ‘Jurassic’ seats 5 across, you still get REALLY wet!! This was also taken advantage of many times whilst it was still early in the day.

Myself & a Stegasaurus before it all goes 'crazy'!

We finally stopped for lunch & then decided to try what else was on offer. I had never seen anything in 3D before so I insisted on going to “Terminator 3D”. It was slightly dated as it followed after T2 – and had Linda Hamilton, Arnie & Edward Furlong reprising their roles.. all looking much younger!! But it was a great little action sequence. It was quite amazing to see bullets & bits & pieces literally leap off the screen and appear to go past you! Shrek 4D (no that’s not a typo!) was next. Basically the 4th Dimension was that the chair moved & vibrated & they sprayed you with water!! Again, it was pretty cool & quite funny!!

Me signing my life away on 'Special Effects Tour'.

We were walking past “Special Effects’ Tour when the guy went “We need a volunteer….” I was in before Ric could stop me! (Ric was terrified that I was going to make him end up doing something silly… & I was determined to make it happen!!) We then got ushered in side before anyone else – a girl had also volunteered & her group came in too. I had to sign one of those standard “I Will Not Sue You If I Am Injured Or Die During This Ride” – I’ve signed a fair few of them over my years & haven’t had to sue yet!! The form stated that I was happy to wear a harness, wasn’t afraid of heights, was unlikely to faint at high speeds etc – I thought it was gonna be great.. It kinda wasn’t but overall it was fun!!

Giz & a Mummy...!

I missed most of the tour as I had to wait until it was my turn… When it was, I was revealed, chained up in Ancient Egyptian garb!! They then ‘blue screened’ me into the building of the Sphynx. Was kinda cool! They then (& I knew this was going to happen – hence the form) snapped the lights to black & then the piece of wall I was chained to spun around & a skeleton, wearing the same garb as me!! They then proceeded to talk to Ric, tell him he was better off without me etc!! I wasn’t ‘returned’ to the stage until about the last 10mins of the tour. They were talking about monster movies & then… they snapped the lights to black & the section that had a skeleton on in spun around & when the lights came up, there I was!! I had been told to just scream until I was told to stop… So, I started to scream… Now, I don’t really have a scream as it’s not something I do on a daily basis BUT… I can do a decent Homer Simpson scream, along with dozens of other cartoon-esque screams… So, I just started doing as many different screams as I could!! The tour Host started laughing, controlled himself & then started to ‘conduct’ my screams!! As I was screaming the Assistant came onstage and started screaming too… This went on for a couple of minutes before they actually released me..! The Assistant (who freed me) said to me that it was one of the funniest sections they’d had in ages!! They then proceeded to cut off my arm using a fake knife & blood!! Bastards!!

Ric & I looking very 'nerdy' in our 'Terminator 3D' glasses.

Years & years ago I got to do the sound effects for a scene from Lethal Weapon 2 @ Warner Brothers Movie World & have always wanted to do something similar again! Now I have! Ta da! Even though I know how most of these tricks etc work due to theatre knowhow, knowing people in the industry & thanks to ‘extras’ on DVD’s but I don’t know, maybe it’s something to do with my inner child (which is pretty much always on show!) but that ‘secret stuff’ has always enthralled me & even though Universal Studios didn’t really give away anything, I’ll admit that it was kinda exciting!!
Me with the Scooby Doo 'Mystery Machine' - loved the catoon as a kid... until they added Scrappy Doo! What were they thinking..?

A scene from 'Backdraft', where they set a warehouse on fire - gets pretty hot and they 'drop' the platform you're standing on, nearly into it!!

We did a few other bits & pieces, ate a really expensive meal that tasted like yesterdays cardboard, had our photo taken as Jedi’s (they put our faces on Ewan McGregor (me) & Hayden Christiansen (Ric). If I hadn’t shaved off my beard only the day before, I would have looked even more the part!) & then we just went back and visited ‘Mummy’ & ‘Jurassic’ another few times before we decided to call it a day, well, basically, the Park shut..!!

All in all, it’s hard to pick a winner between Disneyland & Universal Studios as they each had a winning ride… Disney had more ‘rides’ rather than ‘entertainment’ but I think Universal wins! A large swing in their vote is due to the Special Effects Tour & the fact that Ric was present. I’ll happily admit that it was great to have some silly ‘kid’ time with my Lil’ Brudda!

The "Photo Of A Photo" of Ric & I on 'Jurassic', taken just as you plumet!! They really policed sneaky photo's & this was the only photo I could manage to sneak in over the whole day!!