The Missing Photos Of The Previous Entries

Quick ‘Fun’ Update For Those Who Enjoy A Drink


Lynda (Wardrobe) had gotten word of a bar simply called, The China Bar somewhere in Lisbon and we managed to find it and it was very grand! Nothing really Chinese about it at all but it was reminiscent of an Op Shop and Polly’s (if it still exists) on Brunswick St, Fitzroy. It’s walls were lined with figurines, plates, helmets etc – all sorts of weird and wonderful things but the place was pure class. Pricey – sure but it was a great bar and one that we frequented a few times and got a full working over in regards to Ports.

The China Bar interior

Their menu was all in Art Deco drawings and was fabulous!

A barman in his element!

Three "I've been drinking port in Portugal" posers!

I so wanted to steal one of the menu's but resisted!

Also, in Portugal, we didn’t have a Coach (sorry, I’m getting Americanised!) but we had, as they called themselves, “The Army Of The White Men In The Big White Vans” as they always wore white shirts and yep, you guessed it, drove us around in big white vans! They were a great fun bunch and took us to The Neighbourhood (unfortunately can’t remember the Portuguese name) which was this series of narrow and windy alleyways and streets where every shop front was a bar! It was a crazy atmosphere and in some places were literally just selling beers to carry as you walked to the next place! And it was all really cheap – about 1.20 Euro to have a take away beer and they were about 2.50 Euro in the bars! The prices were because everyone was in competition with each other! A few places had dearer drinks.

The Army Of The White Men - despite 2 of them getting changed as we were after hours at this point! Javier (Cardinal) the current singer down in front!

“Who is the President..?” – have I explained this before...? Stop reading if I have! We have a theory when there’s pretty much more than two people heading out, especially if there’s about 8 as there was on the night we visited The Neighbourhood, that someone is The President. He or she is then in charge of The People and their surroundings. It’s a very volatile climate as The President can be overthrown at any time – sometimes a coup happens out of nowhere and sometimes it is secretly plotted over many failed bars...! But when a President is overthrown, there is never anger and as I found out, the best way to stay in the Presidency is to overthrow one and then immediately use the funds in the Treasury (wallet) to provide The People with what they need – walking beer! We have applied it to other situations - like when you’re lost in an airport but mainly, it is a social tool!

Cardinal, Nico, Christian, Dan, Gigi & Myself in The Neighbourhood (Dan Presidnet at the time!)

Consales (Igor ) on the left, myself and one of the local Lisbon techs.

No, I am not supporting or playing counter balance to a ladder than is resting on a lighting bar (that is 'hanging' & not 'fixed'). The two on the other side started 'supporting' the ladder by pushing against it.... nearly tipping the guy into the audience... this was not my idea, I was helping keep people alive and thanks Dan for taking such a great OH&S photo of me!

The way to dine in Lisbon - couple of bottles of wine and plates of cold meats, dips, cheese, breads and stuff. Portuguese tapas if you will and damn fine!

Part of the main square down near the ocean in Lisbon.

Cardinal (singer) is a bit of an artist and added these impressions of Dan & myself to the walls of the theatre in Lisbon! Please note my nickname to the right!

Yania & Nelson rehearse as Babi & Ines look on...

The ever georgeous and crazy Pipi.

The Cat Lady Of Lisbon - we walked through this run down block and this lady was out throwing scraps of meat to bundles of cats who came forth.



Lynda & I adding to our 'Model' Portfolio!



I don't know why but I like this shot and it's my Blog so I'm putting it in/on it!

Igor The Magnificent – Portuguese Technician Man

** At time of posting Tim was unable to load any photos for some reason and will aim to do so shortly **


And now, onto the craziness of the whole ‘Tango Fire’ Portuguese Experience...! I was told, when doing my prep, that in Figuerra we’d be playing a Casino and could use their gear & that for Oporto & Lisbon, we’d have the same gear as it was going to be coming from Ricardo’s theatre. So, I did my standard prep and this was promptly thwarted when we hit Figuerra and their resident show, “Hot Dance” was in residence and we had to make ‘Fire’ work in and around their set & lights....! This was not the deal that I signed up for...! Ricardo waved his hands around and said that ‘Hot’ had been going so well, they nearly cancelled ‘Fire’ but he had managed to still allow for us to perform...! The ‘Hot’ set could have come straight out of a strip club...! (Or so I was told...!) Fireman’s poles, hideous fluro paint and just terrible, terrible & tacky lighting (I’m actually guessing it looked tacky due to the way things were focused and the colours used!). Pretty much the entire, no strike that, the entire ‘Tango’ set was instantly cut as we weren’t allowed to move or touch anything!! I eventually managed to convince the house people, along with heavy hitting back-up from Dan & Toni, to be allowed to focus 8 lamps (that got reduced to 6) so I could at least have some sort of front light...! I also plunged to never before seen depths of my artistic integrity for this performance....!

There were some really basic moving lights in the rig (non that were actually in a position to be of any benefit) and they became my ‘cyc’ lights...! Our ‘cyc’ for Figuerra was a thinish piece of black material that we had eventually managed to convince the casino to hang on one of the bars that we weren’t allowed to touch in order to hide the gross-ness of the ‘strip club’! I put crazy gobo after crazy gobo onto the cyc and even managed to work it into a few numbers where they rotated...! Massive amounts of ‘tacky’ were employed to make it look ‘good’ rather than try to achieve “Fire” and have a very badly lit performance. Looking at the wrongness of how ‘Hot Dance’ looked, judging from their focus, I was convinced that this was the kind of look that Portugal wanted...! Show went well but at a massive cost to my own integrity, not to mention the show’s...!

Oporto, where we were to have the same lights as Lisbon, which was to follow, looked like it was going to be ok. They had decent source 4 fixtures and these heavy duty 2k fesnels that had a lot of punch...! Nice! We also had a crew that toured with us of about 4 or 5 and then they were basically in charge of the local crew. My main man was Conzales and he was decent but I will admit, he bore the brunt of a few jokes that Dan & I made over our time in Portugal. I hadn’t been able to remember his name so I started to call him (between Dan & myself), Igor. He also had a fairly decent monobrow and the running gag was that if you wanted something done, you went and scratched him with your index finger, just above his nose. Another gag of Dan’s of getting the Portuguese to do something was to flick them on the forehead. Now this may sound quite rude & I guess to a point it is but please note that it was not to their faces (not that that makes it any better) but a way of channelling our frustration & anger at the situations we found ourselves in. It helped to keep us sane and not blow our tops or become aggravated. We’ve applied similar circumstances to situations before.

No, it’s not necessarily right in this day and age of political correctness but not alot of stuff in theatre is! Humour is a great way to vent frustration but I in no way condone it being used as a form of bullying – ie. face to face or even on a mass scale to everyone behind their backs. The ‘name calling’ that Dan & I were doing was only for us. I admit it sounds terrible but I know full well that people who I’ve worked with before – both above & below me – have done the same thing. And I don’t mind because it also serves as a ‘quick release’ so that you don’t harbour the anger & frustration that’s building up. After all, it’s highly likely you’re going to be working with them again and/or you need them to be on your side, not against you. All it would take on stage was a raise of the eyebrows to Dan and he would do the flicking motion, which in turn made me smile and then I was ready to turn back to the carnage. I know it doesn’t sound right but in a job where your schedule can be turned on it’s head by the smallest of things, you need to be able to keep a calm head and have a laugh in order to keep moving ahead!

Conzales was actually quite funny and you could tell from his demeanour that he was stressed working his ass off to get the lights ready for the show. When it came to plotting he quickly caught onto the way I worked and we made up many countless little gags that got us through. You also have to remember, he too was working under Ricardo and without anything being said, I think we found some common ground....!! There was definitely some mutual respect (despite what I’ve said previous!). My main frustration was from the fact that I’d been told one thing, made notes and prepped accordingly but for what...? Nada!

Then there was Lisbon – Ricardo’s home town and family’s venue... Surprise! It was not the same equipment as we had used in Oporto, “They wanted to hire for another show. I said yes!” So we ended up with C level equip – well I did, can’t speak for Dan. Conzales had been told the same thing – hence where the respect/bond formed. I’ve also added another way of giving the spots the location of their ‘targets’ on the stage– (spelling not correct), es-scare-doh – left & de-right-a – right!

Overall, Portugal was a crazy, crazy technical experience but the actual country was quite cool. Overall, the show was ready on time each time and the guys we were working with were decent and there were laughs along the way – we just had issues with Management!! At least that’s a consistent theme amongst workers world wide!!

Awkward Gay Moments Of The World..! When Does A Man Kiss A Man...?

Mmm, old and tasty port!

Well, here we are in Portugal..! We’re doing 3 venues over around 7 days with even a couple of days off thrown into the mix! What a lovely way to start the beginning of pretty much 8 months straight of ‘Tango’... We’re playing in Lisbon, Oporto & Figuerra de Foz. We’re being presented by a guy called Ricardo whose family owns the coliseum type theatre that we’ll be playing in Lisbon. He’s a crazy, whacky kind of guy – says ‘Yes’, in a very long and drawn out extension of the ‘e’, to everything. His voice also has a slightly, high pitched, nasal quality to it too! ‘Yes’ seems to be his favourite answer to most questions, usually followed by ‘Is no problem’.

When we first met him, he leant in and kissed both Lynda & Toni on each cheek... Now, I’ve been touring with ‘Fire’ for quite some time now and the male Argy’s all kiss on the cheek as a greeting (as do the females!) and throughout Europe, like in Spain, you also kiss a man on the cheek – there it’s a kiss on both cheeks... So... I shot a glance at Dan, whispered, “Do we kiss here..?” Dan just shrugged and by then Ricardo was upon me, hand outstretched and as I shook his I leant into kiss him on the cheek... Bad, bad, bad mistake....! Ricardo literally recoiled in horror..! Literally! One moment he’s welcoming the touring crew and the next a man is trying to kiss him..! He didn’t get far as I had a firm grip on his hand...! Ever so slightly embarrassing! Surprisingly, he beat a hasty farewell after that... Once he had, Lynda, Dan & Toni & also myself wet ourselves laughing...! I would have loved to have seen the fear in his eyes but alas, he was wearing sunglasses!!

Graffiti!

He is a crazy man of about 27-28 & you can tell that he’s fairly new to the whole presenter game. His dream is to hopefully bring Metallica to Portugal next year...! Good luck...! He is one of those people who seem to think that by saying ‘yes’ (especially the way he says it!) that the problem will automatically right itself..!?!? “Is coming from Lisbon” was another favourite saying that you heard all the time. 9 times out of 10 it wasn’t & didn’t! He would also just mysteriously disappear for lengths at a time and then magically reappear when we had worked out, for ourselves, how to deal with another issue that he was supposed to have dealt with! Basically, he was a twit & someone that I wouldn’t trust as far as I could punch him!

The norm in Portugal is to not wear seat belts – it is in the front but not in the back. I don’t know why but when travelling, I’ll usually end up doing the local thing when it comes to cars. When I first hoped into the back seat with Ricardo and went to put on he said, “Nooooo (in the same style he said ‘yes’) have to wear. Front yes but in back the police don’t fine. Nobody does. Is fine” So, I sat back in his ever so posh current model Mercedes (did I mention that his family had owned the theatre in Lisbon for over a Century & were quite wealthy..?) and we drove off to the venue to inspect. He ended up being our driver for a few things but the most memorable was the drive to Figuerra de Foz which was about 2.5hrs away from Lisbon. It was just Dan & myself in the car and I was once again in the back, seatbeltless. Driving through downtown Lisbon is one thing but then once you hit the open highway – wow! Crazy Ricardo becomes Super Insane Ricardo!! He was hurtling down the highway and pretty much never dropped below 180-190km/hr with the highest I managed to see through my squinted eyes as I clung for dear life to the Jesus Handle in the back was a notch over 240km/hr.

<** Jesus Handle = the oval shaped handle that sticks out above most rear passenger doors. If your grabbing it, you’re prob going “Oh Jesus!”**>

Crazy trams! They're quite small and hurtle around these really tight corners! No horn or bell!!

The drive, although slightly terrifying, was a good chance to quiz Ricardo about Portugal. I’d never known this fact and I guess it makes sense once you know it, but Portugal is where Port was first made..! Hence the name of the drink!! They make many different types and styles with my favourite being one called Ginger. White ports are also quite interesting. Portugal has a rather large system of wind farms to produce electricity. The most eastern point of Europe is in Portugal. He unfortunately couldn’t tell us much about the history! There was once section we were driving through that trees were easily recognisable as gum trees. Both Dan & I started talking about gum trees and saying that they were from Australia and Ricardo kept asking ‘What...?”, “Again..?” and was totally not understanding us at all and then he broke out his cheeriest grin, gave us one of his best “Yeeeeesss...” which was the followed by a phrase that would be used by us when ever we referred to him, “We maka the wine!” What...? And then the talk of gum trees was over and we were off talking about Portuguese wine again!

Lynda, Tonni & Dan cameo alongside me & my shadow!

Portugal’s pretty cool and it’s nice to find a ‘surprise’ country as Portugal is a place that I prob wouldn’t choose as a destination to travel to under my own steam. The food here is also decent, although they do tend to use a fair chunk of oil – and it looks like bad oil..! Most meat dishes seem to be served with a decent dash of oil over the top..! It’s slightly strange, especially as the oiling doesn’t seem to be restricted to just meat, oh no, salad gets a liberal coating as well....! They do however, make these fantastic burnt, little custard tarts that are just divine! And seafood, they do damn decent seafood. In Figuerra, we were right on the ocean and the squid/calamari was suburb, as was many other dishes. In Lisbon, goat was another meal that was surprisingly good – the way it was cooked, it just peeled off the bone – kinda like lamb shanks. In Europe you tend to be served bread with some form of accompaniments, sometimes just butter, once you sit down (and you get charged for it but we won’t go into that here) & Portugal’s version was great! There was always bits of cheese, a garlic type paste, herb butter and about 4 or 5 different types of bread. Noice..! (spelling mistake intentional!)

Posing with a local!

My most surprising meal of all whilst in Portugal was a sandwich believe it or not....! We were out for lunch in Oporto during Load In and we found an outdoor cafe that seemed to be alright. We ordered drinks and Dan ordered the tuna sandwich and I ordered a sandwich that I unfortunately can’t remember the name of but it ended in ‘speciale’ and had cheese, meats, spicy sausage & lamb cuts with a sauce. It sounded crazy enough to be Portuguese..! When the meals were served Dan & I chuckled a little when his got served as all the crusts had been cut off and I didn’t think I was going to be served mine as the other dishes the waiter had on him, looked nothing like sandwiches and more like desserts.... Then I was served one of the desserts! It was this square block of melting cheese, sitting in a red pool of soup & all garnished with a prawn...!! Myself and Dan burst out laughing and as I reached down to get my camera out to take a photo, the man at the table opposite us, started taking photos of his own and many other nearby diners leaned over and commented on my Special Sandwich!! It was actually really, really good but did not at all look anything like the vision you could conjure up by reading the menu description!!

The sandwich! The sandwich!

We obviously have no idea what it is I'm about to eat!

Somebody leaked I was coming...!