Paella, Sangria & The Real Deal Of Spain

My shadow in Alicante!

Standard street sign shot!

Unfortunately we only hit one venue in Spain – Alicante, down south on the coast. Upon landing, it looked like you were landing in the middle of a warzone! We immediately nicknamed it Beirut..! Although the name didn’t last for too long! We also learnt pretty quickly that pretty much everything shuts between 2-4 for a siesta! The only places that stay open are tappa’s bars & select restaurants & cafes. The city (& I’m assuming the whole of Spain literally shut down!) Including the theatre! During this time you go and eat for an hour then rest for an hour… Looking at the condition some of the crew came back in after ‘lunch’ on Load In day, rest isn’t always taken..!!

The front entrance of the theatre we were playing! Very elegant!

A beer that I found in France that I loved & have refound in Spain!

I’ve written previously about the frustration & lessons learnt during Load In but Stephan, our Spanish Production Manager from our European Agent’s end (man I feel like such a wanker writing that!) was a fantastic guy. He took Dan & I to great places for lunch where you’d pay 8-9Euro for a three course fixed meal, with a couple of choices for the main. His statement was that you’d pay 5-7 Euro for one course in some places & “here you get same amount & more for only little more!” It reeked of that ‘I Get A Kickback If We Eat Here’… He knew the wait staff, which would be expected if it was good value & he was a regular but I don’t know… It just felt like we were eating at ‘mates rates’. The food was decent, without a doubt & Stephan even shouted a few coffees over our time in Alicante at “the best coffee near the theatre” & it worked… Myself, Dan & Lynda (prob Toni too) returned to these same places when we needed a coffee or a meal between shifts/shows. I’m not saying it was Mafia style or anything like that, it was just a feeling, probably stirred by very apparent versions of the same when travelling through Thailand, Egypt & Cambodia of the good ol’ Tourist Trap.

The inside of the Theatre with a very fancy curtain!

Alicante was also supposed to be ‘The’ place to get paella & seeing as it was beside the sea, there was a very decent variety available… And there was! I must admit, my first paella wasn’t top notch but I did by it in a touristy area at touristy prices and, much like McDonalds, what was on the sign definitely didn’t match up with what arrived on my plate! 6 prawns & 5 mussels less to begin with…! I did however eat a very fine paella on our one & only night off in Alicante. Toni, Dan & I went out for dinner in the “Docklands” (for Melbournians) of Alicante – at a restaurant recommended by Stephan none the less! All very new & fancy with further developments underway but Stephan had told us to stick only to the paella & not to anything else the waiters tried to offer as that was where the ‘traps’ were laid! Basically, they keep on ‘offering’ things without a menu, you of course sit there and say “Oh but of course”, “Why not..?” & are then stung with a greater than expected bill upon exit! We outsmarted them!! It was a delicious meal, accompanied by an excellent bottle of wine.

Lynda, Toni, myself, Stephan & Dan.

One thing that Alicante did open my taste buds to were olives. Now I’ve eaten olives on pizzas and sometimes in cooked dishes but I would generally push them around on a plate if served in a salad & I wouldn’t select to eat them if they’re part of an anti pasto platter or served as a snack. I know that you can get them in all shaped and sizes – feta stuffed, marinated, pitted or not, chilli infused and the list goes on & on occasion I have tried one and it’s not that I detest the flavour, they just haven’t rung as a flavour I hunger after. Especially if there are cheeses, prosciutto, decent dips & let’s not forget salt & vinegar chips (I’d mention the brand preferred by Tango Fire Technicians but they declined to sponsor this Blog!) But… but… Alicante has changed this. When I was out & about exploring, I bought a bunch of postcards and then did my usual & stopped for a beer to fill them out. My beer was delivered with a bowl of green, unpitted olives. They’d been washed but apart from that, they were ‘au natural’. And I was converted! They were great & had a flavour like non I’d ever had before. Granted, I’d never bought olives from a decent deli but I wonder if they can taste the same in Australia..? Needless to say, I devoured the bowl and then promptly worked my way through two more… and two more beers as I figured it’d be rude to just continue ordering more complimentary snacks!
Giz has some time out on a cactus!

Sangria was another interesting find. Now I have consumed sangria on many occasions but all the sangria in Spain tasted very different. It tasted pretty similar in most places I sampled it but very different to what is served as sangria in Aus. The closest tasting sangria by far is served at the Robbie Burns (we’re SO close to signing the sponsorship deal) hotel on Smith Street in Collingwood. Doesn’t sound European but they do great Spanish food & there sangria get’s my “Closest To What I Had Overseas” medal. For those of who don’t know, sangria is basically a fruit punch of red wine (prob where the tastes change, especially between countries!), lemonade, sugar, fresh fruit pieces & lemon juice & then chilled. It’s a very refreshing drink.

The citadel from the Docklands area - quite a steep climb!

Alicante overall was quite a decent town. There was this huge citadel atop a cliff overlooking the ocean. On our day off we walked up the winding roads to it. It was also the 1st of May (May Day) & a Public Holiday so the city was alive with festivities. As we were leaving our hotel a parade meandered it’s way past & further into town. The citadel itself was quite impressive, all made out of sandstone & the view it offered was quite unique. The coastline tapered out to a long & thin peninsular on the left with the town splayed out to the right. It was also good to try my basic Spanish out. It didn’t go too bad but Spanish people (& I mean this in good humour) speak with a lisp..!! They pronounce ‘c’ as an ‘s’ sound. To say muchas gracias (thank you very much) in Argentine it’s “mooch-ass grash-e-ass” in Spanish it’s, “moosh-ess grassy-arsh” – there, that example is as clear as mud..!! Anyhoo, to speak ‘proper’ Spanish one feels as if one must have an over supply of saliva!

Myself, Toni & Dan adapting ourselves into a piece of art...!?!?

I would have liked to hang around for a little longer but alas, Tango beckons and we’re off again!

I have no idea what this sign is indicating what may or maynot be about to happen but I thought it was cool!

Taking My Slice Of The Pie & Nearly Having Others!

"The Strip"

Did I walk away (fly really!) a rich man inVegas…? Did I leave with only the shirt on my back…? Were my legs broken..? Was I knee capped & dumped at the City limits…? None of the above but I did walk away with more than when I entered!!

Self explanatory really..!

The first night I walked The Strip I did (& this will contradict things written previously) go to Hooters Casino (“A Cure For The Common Casino” being it’s tagline)!! My reasoning being that if I was going to loose money, why not do it to some good looking women..? My first try was at Blackjack and I was doing quite well. The dealers etc @ Hooters wore exactly the same uniform as in the bars but with a satin orange bow tie that matched their hot pants!! All very silly! The brunette who was dealing was treating me pretty well & then she changed out with a blonde and then (as ‘gambling phobias’ go) my luck went south! I wanted the brunette back! After loosing 7 hands in a row I cashed out & turned to the pokies. I’m not usually a pokie man (I’m not really ever a gambling man) but I gave “King Kong” a bash & reclaimed some of my lost blackjack winnings. I kept some of the $1 chips as dodgy souvenirs for mates & headed back home.

The Bellagio

The night I went & saw Cirque De Soliel’s “O” (see previous post) I gambled a little at The Bellagio too, prepared to loose $X amount again. This time I chose the Big Wheel… which I must admit is my favourite. For those who don’t know the intricacies of The Big Wheel, it has $1, $2, $5, $10, $20 & 2 x ‘Joker’ or symbol segments on a big vertical spinning wheel. Each ‘piece’ of the wheel pays back that amount in odds – 20-1, 5-1 etc with each of the Joker/symbol ones paying around 40-1 but you have to pick the correct Joker/symbol to win (of the 2, each only appears once on the Wheel). Of the monetary values, their frequency on the Wheel is also dictated by the amount you can win, so of course, there are more $1 than $2 which has more than $5 etc. When I play the Big Wheel I generally will cover $5, $10 & $20 @ $5 each & will only cover a $2 if the previous spin spins up one of ‘my’ numbers.

Despite my affection to James Bond, didn't put a foot inside this casino...?!?!

Andy, the Spinner, treated my very nicely!! In 16 spins, he’d only spun up a $1 twice & $2 once..! You do the math! I’d never seen a run on the wheel like this! When I do gamble, which is fairly infrequent, I have my ‘loosing chips’ in one pocket, usually my left, & put winnings in my right pocket. When left is empty, I can take from the right but once the right is empty, it’s all over. Not sounding too much like a wanker but I started piling up my chips on the table! Not that I had thousands of dollars but just cause it was funny and in my books, I was winning fairly big! I even went as far as too ‘throw’ Andy a $5 chip or two after a couple of wonderful spins & also when his shift was up & Leo came to the table. As with Blackjack the previous night, once the Spinner changed, so did the run of luck!! The Spinner had nothing to do with it (unless the games are rigged..??) and purely to do with chance but after Andy, Leo was spinning up $1’s & $2’s all over the shop so I bailed, saw the show but I did return afterwards upon seeing that Andy was back on the table and sure enough, in the 11 spins I was there before Leo once again took over, Andy treated me very well. Didn’t even try to test Leo once he took over again & I flipped Andy another $5! Ah the high life!

My beloved Dukes (this is an action shot taken during 'live' play!) LOVED the Big Money Rev Up!

I then decided I wanted another few $1 chips as quick presents & returned to Hooters. Didn’t fancy the tables after The Bellagio so I dabbled on The Dukes Of Hazard slots machine… and did pretty well!! I sat on the one machine for about 3hrs!! The longest I have EVER spent on a machine – usually it’s $20 in & 10mins later, walk away! Not this time!! The Dukes were very kind & when the Bonus Feature kicked in , I had an uncanny knack of ‘steering’ (via button pushing) the Dukes through also sorts of roadblocks, avoiding Boss Hog etc! It was quite funny & I had a great cocktail waitress who kept bringing beers over. Granted, I did channel some of my winnings into back into Dukes but, I did still walk away with more than I entered. It was the complete opposite to what I had expected!!

MGM - had giant lions and everything!

I also had another kind of ‘luck’ in Vegas. It occurred whilst on the Big Wheel, when I had my chips stacked up in front of me. This gorgeous blonde came up and sidled in alongside me… Andy introduced me and said that Sarah was a regular at the tables & of The Bellagio. He then proceeded to tell her who I was, that I was a drummer in a band… TBC

Yes, that’s right, I had decided to take on the persona of some kind of Rock God!! In Vegas, as I had suspected, the more BS you spun, the more credible you were. You started to fit the mold of what Vegas was all about. It all started when Andy was quizzing me about who I was, where I was from etc. I said that I was on tour & that there was a band and then he jumped in and went “Oh, so you’re in a band”, to which I quickly replied, “Yes, yes I am”!! I became the drummer from “The Small Hours” the band I’d seen the other night!! We’d been on a massive tour, were in Vegas negotiating a record contract and many other details. All able to be supported using details of the recent Tango Tour!! I just substituted Tango Fire for Small Hours!! They lapped it up..!! Suckers!!

The Eiffel Tower outside Paris Casino - had an Arch de Triumph as well! I also have a photo of the real tower from about the same angle!

… so Sarah starts chatting away & she grabs a round of drinks. She was stunning & I mean stunning! She was smartly dressed in “every woman’s must have” – a little black dress, light make up & definitely had the attention of other men at the table. I was already on the backfoot as I was not who I said I was..!! We started some general chit chat with my mind thinking about a polite way to expose the lie, all the whilst telling another Tango substituted lie..!! “Are you staying here…?” came a casual question whilst her hand brushed over mine, longer than ‘accidental’ but short enough to raise the temperature a few degrees. “No, we’ve been put up somewhere else..” (Shit, shit, shit = internal monologue!!). “Well that’s alright, I could do with a walk” (or something similar). (Homer Simpson scream = internal monologue) (Please note that my ‘room’ was a Private Room at a Hostel, not quite the Ceaser’s Palace ‘somewhere else’ she may have thought!) At this point the imminent collapse of my ‘Small Hours’ world may possibly have showed on my face, I’m not sure, I’ll never know but I offered to tip her (not buy her) another cocktail. She responded by putting her hand on my arm & saying something that I didn’t hear… Her breath felt great on my neck though…!! Andy then jumps in by saying that there was someone else Sarah should meet at the other end of the table. She excuses herself, saying she’ll be back… then… about 5mins later she walks away arm in arm with a married couple..!!! The Fix Is In..! All Andy did was shrug his shoulders, proceeded to spin up a $10, which earned him another $5 & just for good measure & to try and re-capture any of my former ‘image’, flipped him another $5 with a “thanks for looking out for me” with a knowing nod.

It very well maybe that I rejected a sensational looking blonde but I’m pretty damn sure that a “High Class Hooker” that you see in movies etc. tried to do a number on me!! I had no idea it was happening until she walked away with the married couple! If I hadn’t have been telling small white lies, I doubt I even would have been introduced to her but I must say, it was a great addition to the Vegas Chapter of my adventures..! Imagine if I had been ‘crazy silly’ & booked a room on The Strip for my Vegas stay… when would she have talked prices… when would I have realised I’d been duped…? Would I even have thought I was in with a chance in the ‘normal’ world…?

Oh well, I like to think that Tim from “Small Hours” would have known what to do, after all, it was his life I was leading!!

A Thin Veneer Of Make Up – The Vultures Come In To Feed

My last day in LA was pretty uneventful – went for a massive walk down Rodeo Drive & Melrose, inspecting clothes shops etc & just cruising around. I basically wanted to kill most of the people that I encountered! Pretty much every person walking around had one of those ‘accessory’ dogs! Everyone! The glitz & glamour that are associated with the above streets just doesn’t seem to exist! Basically, what I’m saying is, LA – or at least Hollywood – ain’t the place for me. I had planned to wonder down to Red Rock (Dave ‘Jack Black’s) bar but ended up ordering a pizza and falling asleep around 10pm!

One of the many businesses that there are 100's of in Vegas.

The next day saw the Vegas & final leg of the holiday come into play. Heading in, the Captain said that there would be pretty bad turbulence, and there was! By far the worst I’ve ever encountered. The plane was still being tossed around as we landed & it did feel like we were going to skid & crash off the runway but apparently that’s normal in Vegas! It’s mainly due to the fact that the city, literally is in the middle of the desert. I did get a view of The Strip as flying in and despite it being daylight, I still hummed the CSI theme!

Giz having a flutter on the pokies @ Circus Circus.

The hostel where I was staying was in the um, lower part of the ‘glamorous’ scale of Vegas, down on the East side. I quickly ascertained that Vegas, like Hollywood, isn’t at all like what we’re led to believe thru media, celebrity & ‘the great American Dream’, oh no, it’s a cesspool of greed, slime & sex. Everywhere you go, there are pokie or slot machines. They cram them into every available space. And no, I’m unfortunately not just talking about the casinos – they’re in 7 Elevens, grocery stores, mini marts, souvenir shops, even drugstores!! I started going into as many different stores that I could and all had slot machines. Sometimes only 5-10 but they always had at least one person sitting there. The only place I didn’t try was Maccas, Wendy’s etc – the fast food chains but I dare say they too may have had some!

The only thing I can say is "I hope so" (read the fine print!)

There were some great people crashing at the hostel – it was fairly quiet seeing as it was winter but there were still enough people to interact with. The hostel was a franchise of the one Ric & I had stayed at in San Fran but this time I’d booked a single private room with an ensuite. Mickey (one of the hosts) was this great girl who was a fabulous cook. Each night you got to choose between two dishes & it only cost you $5! Cheaper than eating out but mighty tasty & it meant you got to mingle & share a few drinks with the others that were around. Daniella (Argentine), Alex (Spain), Carlos (Columbia) & I sort of bonded & hung out most of the time I was in Vegas. Jordan (another host) was from Chicago and cooked up a mean BBQ one night. He served up a mean hotdog – “the Chicago way”. It had about three layers of condiments & stuff on it and it was gold! As Jordan & I agreed, “it’s all about the sauces”.

As with most hostels they also had some form of activity on each night – the BBQ being one of them. The funniest one being Pool-quelia – the cunning combination of playing pool & drinking tequila!! It was pretty cheap tequila too. It started off as a normal game & if you gave away two shots, you had a shot & so on. After a few games, sill reasons for having shots came thick & fast. Mickey (Caribbean) was the ring leader of the night & then we all eventually ended up in the spa! Goes without saying that I slept soundly that night!

Me & my shadow on The Strip

This was a crazy guy from Japan. He was great & was trying to get me to tell him the name of this Aussie band that he'd heard... It ended up being The Veronicas - he was mad for them!! Crazy!

Another night took us to a local bar where two bands from the UK were playing. They were both pretty good, I wanted CD’s from both of them but only one of the bands (The Small Hours) had one to sell. The other band had left all their CD’s at their hotel!! Idiots!

By day I basically did my usual walking around to get a true feel of the place. I found The Strip by complete mistake & didn’t even know if it was The Strip. It looks nothing like the image you have in your head (well, the one I had in mine anyway!) Started to see casino’s that were ‘famous’ – Sahara, Circus Circus but where was the glitz, where was the chique…? No where! I put a few dollars thru at Circus Circus & the rumours are true, you do get free cocktails in Vegas but you ‘pay’ via tips! But if you apply the same idea as at a bar – tip them well on the first couple of rounds & they’ll come back more often! Either way, you’re still paying on average around $3/beer or bourbon.

Come on, you know the song... "Can you guess where I'm calling from...? The Las Vegas Hilton! (Hilton, Hilton!)"

One night I went out with $X amount to loose. It was my final fling of the holiday & I was well & truly prepared to come back with nothing. Upon getting to The Strip it immediately looked a whole lot better. It was all lit up & the spectacle of it all had come to life. I’ll admit, it did look quite fantastic as there was neon, flashing bulbs, strobes & blinking lights on every available piece of real estate. This was the Vegas I’d imagined! The underbelly of Vegas quickly reared up though. About every 10m or so were guys flicking cards out at you. When I say flicking, I mean that they were ‘shuffling’ them like a deck of cards but in a way that made this weird clicking sound to grab your attention & each card was ‘free entry & a drink to Strip Club (insert dodgy name here)’. Trucks towing billboards with scantily clad girls saying “Don’t be lonely, we can be at your door in under ½ an hour” went by, on The Strip, every few minutes. There were also street hustlers everywhere trying to sell you ‘genuine’ articles, CD’s etc. It was all pretty much summed up when the bus driver who dropped me off warned me that “you stay on The Strip, you gonna be fine. Wonder away from the pretty lights & it ain’t gonna be that pretty”. Words to gamble by!

Classy, classy Vegas...!

It was cool to see MGM, New York New York, Caesars Palace etc all lit up and showing themselves. Upon being in Vegas & seeing that it is all about greed (we all know this but it’s actually tangible in the air) you get a weird feeling. Granted there are people who are there as tourists but everyone has that “I could strike it rich” look in their eye. Maybe I’d have a different outlook had I had other people around to share the experience with but when your alone, all you can do is observe and you do get a far more honest taste of your surroundings as you are one giant receptor. Your brain takes in & analyses each piece of stimuli, not distracted by listening & then contributing to conversations or being caught up in the ‘excitement’ of being somewhere unique with friends.

Drive, arrive, plug 'n' play!!

Don’t get me wrong, Vegas was always on my list of places that I wanted to visit & I’m glad I have & I’ll be honest, it pretty much lived up to my expectations but it was, overall, entertaining.

An American Sporting Night Out & Jack Black’s Brother…?

The Staples Centre, downtown LA.

No American Adventure would be complete without seeing them at their most primitive – prime time sports action!! We headed down to the Staples Centre to catch the LA Kings take on the Ottawa Senators in that all confusing, kinda violent & ‘you can’t do that in Australia’ Yankee culture clash of Ice Hockey! I will freely admit that I knew nothing about the sport upon entering the arena. I’d talked to a few Americans over the Tango Tour as I’d been tossing up what kind of event we should head to – baseball, basketball etc. With the Superbowl having wrapped up the NFL, Basketball in Aus that neither of us have ever really gotten into & it being too cold for Baseball, Ice Hockey seemed like the perfect choice. I’d tried to get a basic grasp on the rules but the only real rule I gleaned was that it was OK to fight but as soon as one of the guys hit the ice, that was it. The ref’s would only intervene once someone had fallen over!! Otherwise, it was a free for all!!

The subway station @ Hollywood & Vine has old film cannisters over the roof! It's a pretty cool effect.

The spectacle also wasn’t contained to the action on the ice. The entire night, proceedings & every spare minute was taken up with something. And I just don’t mean an announcement, I’m talking competitions, dancing, light show, projection, SMS voting, giveaways! Everything so that your mind was totally occupied for the entire night! All in all in probably provided an extra 1/2hr to 45mins onto the night!! Even when there was a foul & they has to get the puck back – similar to the boundary ump getting the ball back & throwing it in for the AFL - there was ‘total entertainment’!! It was great to finally see t-shirt cannons! They’d been on the Simpsons, in movies but I had never seen them in 3D (seem to be crossing a lot off that list in LA..?!?). They can shoot them quite a distance! Very cool.

We don’t bat an eyelid at home when there’s a break between quarters in the footy or if there’s nothing happening whilst Ponting & the boys have a drinks break. If Americans ever went to an Aussie sporting event, they’d get bored & restless & maybe have to have, god forbid it, independent thought & occupy their own headspace for more than 2mins…!!

Just to prove we were there, can you see the sign on the hill...?

I gotta admit though, it was a great night. We had a few beers, ate hotdogs & pizza & generally kept the crowd around us entertained as we laughed and tried to make sense of what was going on!! LA Kings won by the way, 3-1 & there was a fight but we didn’t see it live!! We saw it on the monitors as we were buying another round of beer & snacks before the crowds converged at the break between the 2nd & 3rd periods! D’oh!

As a way to wrap up the Trip Of The Brothers, seeing as Ric headed off home via Tokyo & I head across to Vegas before returning home for 5 weeks, we went back to a bar we’d frequented a few nights before. It was called Red Rock and one of the bar tenders, Dave, looked like & spoke exactly like Jack Black, well, more like Jack Blacks older brother! He was a great bloke & upon entering, he bought us our first round!! Nice! This stemmed from a very valuable lesson & the only way that I can ever justify tipping in the States…

Ric & I, watching Ice Hockey, well we did, after we posed for this photo!

Side Note: As I’m sure you’re aware, you HAVE to tip in the States. Minimum 10% but the norm seems to be 15% nowadays!! The tired & true throw away line is “they live off their tips”! That’s fair enough that tips is a way of supplementing your income & it’s not that I’m like Mr Pink from “Reservoir Dogs” (which is what Dan calls me when we’re out!), I will tip if the service, food & any number of other things lead me to have a lazy breakfast, a quick bite to eat, a catch up with friends BUT I HATE being told “your meal/experience was worth 10% of the bill!” And if you tip only 10% or god forbid, even less, they ask you if something was wrong..! As Ric found out when we had Indian with Chuck. Ric handed over the bill and we hadn’t calculated correctly (about 8%) and a group of them came over & wanted to know what was wrong!!

The LA Kings taking on the Ottawa Senators!

Now some of you maybe sitting there, reading this, shaking your head and uttering “it’s how they make a living Tim, have a heart” & I might possibly agree with you if the Government didn’t tax them on the amount of tips they thought they’d earnt over the course of the financial year… If they tax ‘imaginary money’ (& I bet their guestimates are based on more than 10% tips) why the hell don’t all the service people strike until their wage is increased..? Why should I have to supplement someone elses income, that gets taxed, with my hard earned cash..? The Govt should increase minimum wages if people have to “live off their tips” that gets taxed, therefore making it a ‘wage’, in the first place! Crazy I tells you – and don’t even get me started on how annoying wait staff can be to ensure that the three sips you’ve had from your water has been refreshed & you hear the the saying “Everything OK here?”. It was until you pestered me again! And all for a minimum 10%... that should be coming from the till, not my wallet! There I’ve said it. Rant over..!

Tipping bar staff how ever, works entirely in your favour! Tip $3-4 on your first round, same again on the 2nd & then you alternate between $1-2 for the rest of the night & you will be poured generous measures, a free drink here & there, faster service etc. This works only if the bar isn’t that busy or you keep returning to the same barman. It also works in the States as they ‘free pour’, they don’t use a 30-50ml measure, they pour as much liquor into your glass that they think is worth $6 – after a decent few rounds of tipping, they think you deserve twice the amount. So it’s win, win. Even after tipping well, you’re still getting 20-30% of the prices! In this respect, “I happily flashed my cash”! Hence why ‘Jack’ (Dave) put the first round of beers & a Jagermeister shot each, on the house! We insisted he join us & we bought him a shot.

Myself, Dave 'Jack' The Barman & Ric

He was a great guy, very enthusiastic in the way that he spoke but he seemed quite intelligent. He’d spent some time in the Marines & had seen some ‘pretty bad shit’. He introduced us to Renee & Alisha, who were also Aussies, who were over buying product for Big W…! What a weird job! They were both pretty cool. He was introducing us to a few people who were in the bar. A few DJ’s, one of the LA Kings players, a few filmmakers (no one of note!). A wide mix of people. We were locked in at the end of the night – as in everyone else got kicked out & we were allowed to hang back for a couple of quiet ones, on the house! Was quite nice & echoed times down along Southbank, Melbourne where a few bars did the same to us Arts Centre techs.

It was a great way to wrap up our Adventure together. It’s flown by, doesn’t seem like 5.5 weeks at all! We’ve done a lot & it has done nothing but further strengthen our mateship, on top of being brothers. I’ve got one more day here before heading off, whilst Ric takes on Tokyo solo. Dave has invited me back for ‘one more for the road’ before I hit Vegas…

The Blundell Brothers Shadows on Sunset Strip

Come Ride With Me, Let’s Ride, Let’s Ride Away! (Disney vs Universal)

Well, upon heading to the States I never really envisioned entering a Theme Park, let alone two! Upon Ric’s arrival he started talking up the idea of going to an Adventure Park & getting a roller coaster fix. As I’d already clocked up Disneyland, the choice was left up to him. Due to it being Winter & reduced Opening Hours, there was really only the one option - Universal Studios. It wasn’t the worst option & it did promise us a few thrills & spills.

Pretty self explanatory really..!

Upon entering it seemed quite reminiscent of Disneyland but upon closer inspection of their ‘map’, there seemed less ‘rides’ & more ‘entertainment’. Seeing as it was only 11am & there was fairly few people around, we decided we’d get our fix of ‘Jurassic Park’ & ‘The Mummy’ first. This proved to be an excellent choice! As there was nobody around, they let you ride on ‘The Mummy’ twice in a row before you had to get off!! ‘The Mummy’ was a Universal take on ‘Space Mountain’ – you went on the rollercoaster in the pitch black but the difference being that things would leap out at you etc. You then literally hit a wall at the end of the course & then the whole thing went backwards, on a different track until you reached the beginning. It was pretty good but ‘Space Mountain’ beats it due to the fact that ‘The Mummy’ doesn’t have enough twists & turns – it probably travels over the height of 2 stories where as ‘Space’ has about 5 stories of height to twist, turn & drop over.

Ric & I on 'Jurassic'.

On our second double turn I will admit, I screamed!! When you ‘hit the wall’ (& you do!) a projection of scarab beatles swarming out of the wall appears – as this happens (& I didn’t feel this the first 2 times) all these little brushes flick @ your ankles and legs. Well, I screamed (more of a decent manly shout!). Had I felt it the first time, I don’t think I would have yelled as loudly – and that’s honest, I would have screamed but not with as much volume. Because this was a ‘new’ element to the ride & I was enjoying the adrenaline, it scared the living sh*t out of me!!

Myself & the boys getting ready to board Apollo 13... Tom wouldn't let me drive!!

Next to be assaulted by the Blundell Bruddas was ‘Jurassic Park’. Now this wins hands down over ‘Splash Mountain’. Granted, ‘Splash’ had the added element of no safety harness at all (which I still find weird in this day & age) but Jurassic dropped some 83 feet, where as ‘Splash’ was only 50 odd feet. It was a great thrill. Also, the preamble to get to the drop was far better than ‘Splash’. It was an ‘actual’ tour through ‘Jurassic Park’ before it all goes to hell & you’re assaulted by Velociraptos & T-Rex’s etc. And even though ‘Jurassic’ seats 5 across, you still get REALLY wet!! This was also taken advantage of many times whilst it was still early in the day.

Myself & a Stegasaurus before it all goes 'crazy'!

We finally stopped for lunch & then decided to try what else was on offer. I had never seen anything in 3D before so I insisted on going to “Terminator 3D”. It was slightly dated as it followed after T2 – and had Linda Hamilton, Arnie & Edward Furlong reprising their roles.. all looking much younger!! But it was a great little action sequence. It was quite amazing to see bullets & bits & pieces literally leap off the screen and appear to go past you! Shrek 4D (no that’s not a typo!) was next. Basically the 4th Dimension was that the chair moved & vibrated & they sprayed you with water!! Again, it was pretty cool & quite funny!!

Me signing my life away on 'Special Effects Tour'.

We were walking past “Special Effects’ Tour when the guy went “We need a volunteer….” I was in before Ric could stop me! (Ric was terrified that I was going to make him end up doing something silly… & I was determined to make it happen!!) We then got ushered in side before anyone else – a girl had also volunteered & her group came in too. I had to sign one of those standard “I Will Not Sue You If I Am Injured Or Die During This Ride” – I’ve signed a fair few of them over my years & haven’t had to sue yet!! The form stated that I was happy to wear a harness, wasn’t afraid of heights, was unlikely to faint at high speeds etc – I thought it was gonna be great.. It kinda wasn’t but overall it was fun!!

Giz & a Mummy...!

I missed most of the tour as I had to wait until it was my turn… When it was, I was revealed, chained up in Ancient Egyptian garb!! They then ‘blue screened’ me into the building of the Sphynx. Was kinda cool! They then (& I knew this was going to happen – hence the form) snapped the lights to black & then the piece of wall I was chained to spun around & a skeleton, wearing the same garb as me!! They then proceeded to talk to Ric, tell him he was better off without me etc!! I wasn’t ‘returned’ to the stage until about the last 10mins of the tour. They were talking about monster movies & then… they snapped the lights to black & the section that had a skeleton on in spun around & when the lights came up, there I was!! I had been told to just scream until I was told to stop… So, I started to scream… Now, I don’t really have a scream as it’s not something I do on a daily basis BUT… I can do a decent Homer Simpson scream, along with dozens of other cartoon-esque screams… So, I just started doing as many different screams as I could!! The tour Host started laughing, controlled himself & then started to ‘conduct’ my screams!! As I was screaming the Assistant came onstage and started screaming too… This went on for a couple of minutes before they actually released me..! The Assistant (who freed me) said to me that it was one of the funniest sections they’d had in ages!! They then proceeded to cut off my arm using a fake knife & blood!! Bastards!!

Ric & I looking very 'nerdy' in our 'Terminator 3D' glasses.

Years & years ago I got to do the sound effects for a scene from Lethal Weapon 2 @ Warner Brothers Movie World & have always wanted to do something similar again! Now I have! Ta da! Even though I know how most of these tricks etc work due to theatre knowhow, knowing people in the industry & thanks to ‘extras’ on DVD’s but I don’t know, maybe it’s something to do with my inner child (which is pretty much always on show!) but that ‘secret stuff’ has always enthralled me & even though Universal Studios didn’t really give away anything, I’ll admit that it was kinda exciting!!
Me with the Scooby Doo 'Mystery Machine' - loved the catoon as a kid... until they added Scrappy Doo! What were they thinking..?

A scene from 'Backdraft', where they set a warehouse on fire - gets pretty hot and they 'drop' the platform you're standing on, nearly into it!!

We did a few other bits & pieces, ate a really expensive meal that tasted like yesterdays cardboard, had our photo taken as Jedi’s (they put our faces on Ewan McGregor (me) & Hayden Christiansen (Ric). If I hadn’t shaved off my beard only the day before, I would have looked even more the part!) & then we just went back and visited ‘Mummy’ & ‘Jurassic’ another few times before we decided to call it a day, well, basically, the Park shut..!!

All in all, it’s hard to pick a winner between Disneyland & Universal Studios as they each had a winning ride… Disney had more ‘rides’ rather than ‘entertainment’ but I think Universal wins! A large swing in their vote is due to the Special Effects Tour & the fact that Ric was present. I’ll happily admit that it was great to have some silly ‘kid’ time with my Lil’ Brudda!

The "Photo Of A Photo" of Ric & I on 'Jurassic', taken just as you plumet!! They really policed sneaky photo's & this was the only photo I could manage to sneak in over the whole day!!

Air Mexicana - 2nd Round & Hollywood Arrival On A Tatty & Mouldy Red Carpet.

Having taken on Mexico City Airport & pulling through without any major scars, we rolled up our sleeves & waded on in for Round 2…

Air Mexicana struck the first blow when their departure time from Buenos had changed by an hour – not delayed, “Just changed!” This left us with an hour to negotiate Mexico City Airport & make our connection to LA. Ric & I were determined that we didn’t have to leave the airport in order to re-enter & make another flight…

The flight to Mex City was quite funny! Armed with better Spanish than when we arrived, we chatted with the Hostesses when they passed through & they giggled at the two bald guys & kept topping our drinks up without us asking! At one point Ric came back from the bathroom & they’d handed him 2 cervesa’s, even though they weren’t needed!!

Upon disembarking we confronted a girl in an Information Booth. We were fairly successful in communicating the fact that we were in transit but she still didn’t seem to be able to point us in any direction helpful at all. We headed back towards the Customs area, preparing to admit defeat & have to do the mad dash back to our connection. As we did, we noticed that there were a few passengers who were of Caucasian decent at a counter well away from the others… Shrugging our shoulders we headed down that way & with a few words of Spanish we were allowed through and were then stuck in a glass walled corridor that led us all the way back to the main concourse…! We had stamps in our passport & forms filled out & found our Gate (eventually!) & settled in to fly out.


As the saying goes, "Don't F*ck With Chuck!"

Whilst waiting an Aussie backpacking couple came up to the Change Bureau near us, trying to exchange pesos for the next part of their trip. From the look of it they were boyfriend & girlfriend & only she spoke Spanish – and quite well. He on the other hand spoke not even a word & got really frustrated with the girl behind the counter. They were trying to exchange pesos into Euros but were going to end up with a chunk of pesos in change as the Bureau didn’t have enough small notes. The guy didn’t want this, knowing that they would be worthless & hard to exchange outside of Argentina. The girl was getting quite frustrated with the guy & proved the fact that he spoke no Spanish by calling him a stupid pig (chancho beleuro) a number of times without him even flinching – once when he said “Make sure you tell them how this is crap & that they should have enough money!” It was quite funny!!


The street where our hotel was. Automatically had to one round of the chorus!


We arrived in Los Angeles at approx 2300 & Air Mexicana, in all their glory, had three baggage carousels onto which our luggage could appear from & each had a different flight number attached to it – despite it being the ONLY Air Mexicana flight to have arrived from anywhere…! (I know that flights can have multiple numbers/codes but this situation didn’t fall into that category!) We eventually found our luggage on a carousel marked for Flight 906, even though we’d boarded Flight 904…!!

Our shuttle bus to our hostel was an adventure within itself. To cut a long story of the history of why short, they’d combined 2 routes into the one bus – meaning that we had to cover more than ½ of LA to get to our final destination! The overall trip took nigh on 2hrs as the added on route was closer to the airport!! There was a great feeling on the bus though as all us passengers thankfully found humour in it!! A guy sitting next to us was great, he was giving the driver directions that took us off the GPS navigated way, determined to get off the bus as quickly as possible. His flight to LA took 45mins from Texas & the shuttle bus took him 2.5hrs to get him home…!!

Another famous street that isn't as glamorous as one would think!

At one point I made a throw away line that got huge laughs throughout the bus thanks to my line actually being given ‘life’! We were forced to stop outside a Fire Station as three massive trucks & a paramedic vehicle were returning back home. A fireman was stopping traffic & directing them back into the station as they reversed in. It took a good 5mins & as the last truck cleared the road I said “Off you go mate, back into the station like your friends” – mainly meaning, get off the road so we can get moving – and that’s exactly what he did!! He walked backwards into the station – I immediately added in the mandatory ‘beep, beep, beep’ sound!!! As soon as he moved pretty much everyone on the bus had a decent old chuckle! I was quite impressed with my impromptu comedic turn – even better than my usual superior wit..!!

Upon finally reaching our Hostel we realized that they had messed up our booking and provided us with a double BED, not a double ROOM with bunks…! As the hostel was pretty busy, they had no more room at the Inn for us and wouldn’t be able to correct our booking! We spent one night with Ric in his sleeping bag on top of the bed whilst I used the doonah & we’ve now moved into an actual hotel room. Due to the lateness of our booking, we got a twin share room for around $70 a night – works out only slightly dearer than the hostel. They were great too – when they realised what had happened & that we were brothers & not ‘really close friends’ they happily gave us our money back, which was very generous.


Me with one of my heroes....

We’re off to Universal Studios tomorrow. There’s a few Amusement Parks around LA but due to the time of year & their Winter Opening Hours, Universal is the only one that’s open whilst we’re in town. Should still be decent though – there’s The Mummy Roller Coaster & Jurassic Park, The Ride… stay tuned!

...& Ric with one of his!!

Frustrated & Funny Focus Fracas

Well, firstly I know I’ve been slack in updating LA & Vegas but they are to come. Tango has arrived in Alicante, Spain & I have just been on the reverse end of a situation I’ve been involved in numerous times before.

Alicante is the first time since I joined Tango where English is not the main language and isn’t even used as a 3rd or 4th option. I sauntered in (not too cocky mind you) knowing that I had very basic Spanish under my belt but enough that I should be able to get by. Which I did… until you need to start doing technical things!! Having worked on many Melbourne International Festival of the Arts, I thought I’d perfected the ‘art’ of communicating theatre using a series of hand signals and grunts – which I had. What I hadn’t learnt, but have now, is that when you are the guy who can’t understand a thing that’s being said, you assume that your last hand waving & three grunts will be carried out shortly - despite the fact that the guy who ‘understood’ now seems to be heading out to have a ciggie with three other crew, laughing and giggling constantly - can only exacerbate massive feelings of frustration….!

A slight feeling of paranoia also creeps in – “Are they laughing at me..?”, “Am I coming across as a complete twit to them..?”, “Why is this so hard..?” etc. Helping this along is a sense of pure anger brewing out of the frustration of the thought “I’m usually way beyond this point by now” churning over & over in your head. Granted, we had all day to set it up from scratch & we have all day tomorrow before we actually do a show BUT as Tango is definitely a part of my current psyche, I should be well & truly ready for tomorrow night, but I’m not!! Did I also mention that I haven’t had a ciggie, not even the smallest puff, in 7 weeks…? (that story will be told over future postings!) That definitely hasn’t helped with today’s situation, with one particular 20min Marcel Marceau charade involving me being 8m up in an EWP (Elevated Work Platform) bringing on the desire to smoke the strongest yet!!

All in all, I now have an even greater respect for techs who have toured to countries where they are so far on the back foot the moment they walk on stage. I now understand the frustration & curt sentences uttered & the sheer joy & emotion shown on the faces of foreign touring techs as the most simple things go unheard & the most technical of details & requests passes effortlessly.

As I’ve always said about theatre in general, you learn something new each show you work on – be it a different work practice or a way not to do something. Today was no exception.