Trevor Pastrami, On Fasari...!!

Giz all crashed out after a long week of One Nighters.

Pastrami & Bakersfield (read on for an explanation!) meeting on the site of where Lennon & McCartney 1st met!!

Giz on stage @ the Royal Sumphonic Hall in Birmingham.

Rachel & Dave - two friends we met randomly @ our Hotel Bar.


Giz with 3 Americans we met in Cambridge. The guy is ???, Kristin in the stripes & Andi. They were really cool. Giz had a couple fo rounds of shooters with them!!

Gavin, myself, Dan & Russ. Gav & Russ were two of our techs in Cambridge. Every photo of Gav, he's pulling the same face....?!?!

Carolina (Artistic Director), Javier (Singer), Dan, Ange, myself & Christian (Dancer) having an extended session @ the Hilton Bar in Bradford. Everything else was shut!!

The bright light is the one that I get a clap for each night - or buy the 1st round!!

Me eating a deep fried jam sandwhich.... wasn't too bad!!

Me messing around with my shadow in one of my effects during the show in Nottingham.

A stained glass window from Canterbury Cathedral.

The Tango Fire Production Crew has grown extensively since we’ve started the Regionals!! There’s a large group of us now that travel everyday in the truck… Yes, we’ve hit that part of the tour where we’re getting tired and Dan, Ange & I basically spend 16-19hrs a day in each other pockets!! Ange gets a little reprise as once we hit the venue, she get’s to hide in Wardrobe!! So our Company has grown out of delirium, aches & pains & just our general unspoken motto of “You Just Gotta Laugh”.

The current cast of characters are Lyle (me), Gareth (Dan) & Ballzetta (Ange). They’re all from the South as one day we were predicting the type of people we were going to encounter in where ever it was we were heading and it appeared to be people who had Southern US Accents…..! Myself & Dan went completely off on the wrong kind of voice!! Lyle & Gareth are slightly gay & have heavy undertones of the Community Service Guy from Family Guy.

Next up is Trevor Pastrami (me), Lionel Bakersfield (Dan) & Victoria Cockthorn (Ange). They have the classic ‘On Safari’, toffee nosed voices – lots of “What Ho” & “Smashing, smashing idea” kind of thing. They were born from Ange trying to say the word Safari & could only continue to say Fasari and well, I couldn’t let that go & Trevor Pastrami (named by Ange) was born…! Dan & I will answer our Hotel Room phones & will answer as either Trevor or Lionel expecting it to be either Pastrami or Bakersfeild on the other end – it has backfired on me once or twice….!

Richard & David Attenborough (both wild life experts!) pop in & out and describe various things we see as we drive on.

There’s a few others who make cameos every now & then but the above mob have back stories & come in to the venues with us!! Venue crew definitely think we’re nuts sometimes!!

Then we have Tim – who was our first GPS voice & now we have Sean. Tim’s voice was English & quite polite but wouldn’t repeat instructions that often & meant we had to drive crazy around roundabouts trying to follow the green line! But at least Tim was polite. We now have Sean who has a delightful Irish twang and we are convinced Sean is drunk. He repeats everything about 6 times – which can be helpful but it does get annoying!! His favourite lines are “Turn left & the turn left again”, “After 200 yards, stay left” – which we yell back at him “Don’t go right!” He LOVES the left – it’s really weird! The other day the case was closed on Seans sobriety – he was babbling on about “At de roundabout, take the tird exit. Take the exit & then……” He just left…! Nothing! Head down on the counter, nursing his pint of Guiness!! Leaving us with no idea what we had to do….! We yelled at him to wake up but Sean was down for the count. This was proven the next morning when we required his services to get out of town & his hangover kicked in! We’re driving along towards an intersection & he goes “At de roundabout, take the 2nd exit.” Um, Sean, it’s a T Intersection…. We turn left & then he started giving us more bogus directions about turning right in 300 yards when the road naturally turned to the left….!

Well, if you didn’t think I was crazy before, you definitely should now & Dan & Ange are just as certifiable as I..!! Ah touring, where one must become a little insane to remain sane!! Catch you all soon – gotta go, Pastrami just lit his pipe up & this is a no smoking room…!

North Hampton-day - The Happiest Day Of The Year

The attached photo is of Ange with her Firemen in North Hampton - that's what happens when you put the Steamer underneath a heat/fire detector.....

Firstly I want to pass on my thanks to all & sundry who chimed in on my Birthday via phone, email, SMS, Facebook etc. Was great to hear voices from home & was great to chat to some of you. Thanks again.

Due to the nature of touring doing One Night Stands, we basically forget what day it is and each day is known as "Which Town Are We Heading To Now" Day - hence North Hampton-day!! We arrived in the morning about 1000 and it was like we'd worked there for years. After the previous few runs of venues we walked in, battle armour on, shotguns @ the ready, poised for action.... The boys were great - extremely welcoming, my ENTIRE rig was rigged, patched, coloured & focused & they had the best sense of humour & working style. It was like walking back into the Arts Centre in regards to the camaraderie that came out. Myself, Dan & Ange threw down our arsenel of weapons and basically kissed their feet!! I was focusing before lunchtime - a first & I got to play on the new ETC Congo desk & managed to get an entire version of the show plotted on disk - using my channel numbers!!

It's been weird with most venues - if they don't have a Strand, they're very hesitant to patch their dimmers across to my channels.... Which is especially weird when it's a one to one patch in their system.....!! For you non-theatre people - they have Switch 1 turns on Light 1, Switch 2 turns on Light 2 etc. and all I want to do is make Switch 3 turn on Light 1, which is very easy. Because we ended up with oodles of time in North Ham, I took the opportunity to get a full copy of the show on disk. It's not a bad console, some of the functions are slightly weird & not as easy as on a Strand but it wasn't terrible. I even went as far as editing cues whilst the performance was running - was very scary hitting "Yes" & "Enter" on a console I had only met that morning but the show continued on without a hiccup.

North Hampton was also one of those venues where, at the end, you want to cry. The show looked fantastic, prob the best it has been since Melb!! Just came back brilliantly & the terrible thing is we had to pull it down as soon as the curtain came in.... Nooooooooooo! That's the worst thing about touring - you do 2-3 shows and it looks OK but when it looks brilliant & it just happens, it's for one show only! D'oh!! Not to be - somewhere, out there, through the fog, down the motorway & around the roundabout it will look that good again......

Evoking The Tango Fire Demon....

St Albans – what a town. The worst town I have ever toured through or visited & I pity anyone who must head through it or even venture near it! Over phone conversations, the resident Tech had said that he could provide me with a 4 colour wash using Par Cans – fair enough I said, it’s your venue, you know what works best. We get to the venue, called St Albans Arena mind you, to find a school hall… Each colour was done with 3, yes THREE Par Cans….! It basically made up ONE wash if you turned all the Pars on at once!!

After a bit of rejigging etc I came up with something that was remotely passable. Went to focus some of my profiles & gobo’s and do you think I could get sharp edges… Oh no. “Yeah, some of the lamps are rusted shut”, “Be careful adjusting that, the front lens tends to fall out”, “They’ve got 500w globes”, “We haven’t done maintenance in a number of years” & my favourite “A lot of Companies say that”!!! Hello St Albans – listen to the masses!

Went off to lunch shaking my head but looking forward to another hearty English Pub Meal. “I’ll have the Chicken BBQ Melt please”. Pimply teenager presses a button on the till, up comes Rump Steak. “Sorry mate,” I inquire, “That says Steak & I ordered Chicken.” (insert pimply Simpsons Teenager Voice here): “I’m sorry Sir. Was that the Chicken BBQ Sandwich or the one on the Grill Menu?” “The Grill.” Says I. Button pressed on the till again – up comes Steak. Same lines of dialogue again ending in Teenager saying, “Some of the menu items are under the same button”. “So it’s definitely registered as Chicken…?” “Yes it is.” Guess what….? I got a frickin’ steak that was crap & it wasn’t even a Rump & it was dry & I didn’t want it & the staff were horrible when I went up to the bar & threw the meal at them (well, that’s what I wanted to do but soothed my anger with a half pint…!)

Back to the venue & I decided I was going to focus – off this weird ass metal ladder kind of thing - basically a Tallescope without wheels! Two of the techs – Alex & Nick were great & were running around backing us up. One of the crew (who was also one of my spots) never spoke a word! Weird! Got the rig focused and then replotted, not really liking the look of it but did what I could.

Diner rocks around, we head to a different pub for dinner. Decided on the BBQ Bacon Burger & went & ordered. Was enjoying my pear cider when my meal was delivered. Nibbled on some of the chips and then opened up the burger & realised that… there was no burger in it! Just this huge wad of bacon! I started laughing & took it up to the bar & the look on the guys face when I asked, “This might sound dumb but do all the Burgers come with a burger?”, “Yes.” Said the barman slowly. I showed the man and he went & called down to the kitchen and then said that yes, I was correct – all burgers should come with a burger! Go back to the table & about 5mins later they bring me another burger - only it isn’t! It’s the same one just with this wedge of meat inside. I could tell it wasn’t new due to the half eaten chip that was on the plate when I took it back and when they’d speared the bun with a tootpick, it was right next to an identical hole!! The burger was cooked, but cold ! I just wet myself laughing! Stoopid bloody town – 2 completely farked up meals!! And we were her for 3 shows…..!

Show actually didn’t come up that bad under the haze – I kept it pumping for the whole show as the beamage (being able to see the beams of lights through the smoke) was gold as there was no flytower and the bars were so low!! After the show, we went out for an ale – every pub appears to shut or has called last drinks. We get to this bar called Ice. We walk in & it’s like an old Ice Cream Parlour set up, all in white, with those really small, crappy & annoying moving lights. Bad music, bad, bad music. I had to buy the first round, which I have to do everytime one of my cues in Act II doesn’t get it’s deserved applause – with the assistance of a dancer…! Not a clap in St Albans, not once but twice – bastards. So I order our standard knock offs – 2 x Double JD & Coke & 1 x Gin & Tonic. 17 quid 60p…! Standard prices are about 8-12 quid. I said something in Spanish & just looked at the guy. That was the last straw – I’d had enough of St Albans!! We drank pretty quickly & bailed & could not find one more pub open!!

I made a solum vow that night that I was going to burn St Albans to the ground….!! Some of it still smoulders to this very day!!

High Wycombe - What A Day!

Man, what a bad few days! High Wycombe was Sun for one nite & then we had Monday off there. Beh!! We had the D Crew - quote "We've had a really big week & get out last night & we've got another big week next week so you've got a few of the newer guys." That's always the nicest thing to hear as a Hirer! Part of it was our own fault as we may have had a few beverages after finishing off in Canterbury but when you walk into a new venue & there's only 4 out of 6 crew and 2 of them look like they haven't even had the birds & the bees speech, you get that feling deep down that, today, you have dance!

We had a couple of colledge kids & one of them spent most of the morning on the phone. At one point I did ask her if she was learning about theatre & when she said "yes" I told her to get off her phone & watch me dance!" A bit gruff but the phone was turned off after that! Kyle (our Head Tech) had bth me & Dan asking him where the crew was & all he could do was stammer, point at himself, Dan & I and then say "They're around her somewhere!" Grrrrrr! It was also weird thatthe crew wouldn't listen to me! I would walk up to a bunch of them and ask them for assistance or somwthing & get nothing & then Dan would yell from across stage and they'd all saunter off together - I've never seen tech's work in packs like that before! Because I was being ignored (& at this point I hadn't yelled & wasn't being rude) I just went on weird litle rants of irelevant stories of my youth, yesterday etc. No one seemed to mind cause NO ONE COULD HEAR ME! Ran that crew into the ground, they all earnt their 8 quid an hour. It was fun being up the Tallescope, telling the crew what buttons to press on the riggers and then focusing! By the end of it, my short grunts from the top & I would be moved, stopped & the channel I wanted brought up everytime!

Was a day where we didn't get a break - finally had a chance to sit down and stop @ 1840, 20mins before the curtain went up! Busy day & funny in reflection now as Dan & I were basically the crew but it's nice to have one of those types of days notched up. We know we can do it & we have been blessed with a really good run so far.

Wait til you hear about St Albans - bad, bad place! Kil 'em all!

Happy & Silly Snaps

Myself, Dan & 3 of the 4 members of Quatrotango (The Band), L to R - Marcelo, Chooky, Hugo.

Dan & I with an intriguing sign in Bournemouth. What happened when we went thru the door is not for this Blog.....

Dan & I with Marie - the waitress who kept on serving us Tequila when we went out for a slap up Mexican meal.

We found one of Gizmo's realatives in Camden Markets. Looks a little sad...

O'Neills, where about half of my per diems disappeared over the Peacock Season.

Me with a splitting headache that I picked up on our tour of the Royal Opera House.

Dan, me, Prentiss & Ange having a snack whilst touring the Royal Opera House!!

The Sun Tavern - where the other half of my per diems went...! Double House Spirits for the price of a single... yes please!

No More Mister Nice Tech

Hello Reader, been a bit slack at the mo' re posts but it'sbeen a pretty hectic time now that we've hit the Regionals. This week has seen us pass through & conquer Oxford, Dartford, Canterbury & High Wycombe. Dan, Ange & myself must look a sight when we first enter the venue - Me - the Bald Thug who then talks in Donald Duck, Dan - the wanna be Rock Legend with his ever so effeminate nature & Ange - 50's chic & glamour!!

Oxford - show didn't look the best at all because they basically had nothing to put a show on with. Which is weird seeing as the venue was called The New Theatre...! Crew were great though & Oxford has the record for our out - 42mins.

Dartford... hard to remember Dartford..! Strange little venue. Had a full rig which was nice but they were more interested in doing stuff for their own venue rather than assist the Hirer! They were very precious about their desk as well & didn't want me to change their one to one patch to match my channel numbers.....?!? Where we're going, we don't need roads! The one plus side was their FOH rig - was nice to actually have to lower levels rather than demand lamps that are at full give me at least another 40%!

Canterbury, Marlowe Theatre - really steep venue & the crew were all over it. Fantastic mob who bent over backwards to get us in and the show was in, focused & re-plotted by 1600! Unheard of. Fantastic & we were there for 4 shows so we got a little time off. They were a really relaxed venue and there was much witty banter over cans.

High Wycombe, The Swan - myself & Dan have sworn to burn it to the ground as we depart tomorrow. We got screwed re crew as they've had this massive Russian Opera all last week that finished on Sat night and have a masive American Dance Co. bumping in today so their A thru D crew were all used up so we got the 1st Year Uni students and a couple of homeless people...! Not neccessarily their fault & our show isn't that hard to get in but when someone asks, "What's a Colour Frame...?" one does wonder! Didn't have a break all day & finally got my table pracs & hazer plugged up & checked at 1840 - 20mins before Curtain Up! Was a hard day but we got it in & it looked really good from my end!

Tomorrow we head to St Albans for 2 x shows & we've been told it's quite pretty. Canterbury was really cool - lots of narrow winding little streets - just ask Dan re our side mirror (or lack of!) Went through & explored the Cathedral - impressive but Notre Dame still holds the mantel to ye olde curches. Was very grand.

Well, I'm off to walk down the main street & find some food and slap the first High Wycombian who looks at me funny! Catch you soon & hope all is well.

Fair Thee Well London

Holla. This post finds us in Bournemouth on our day off! It's wet & miserable but that's OK cause my hotel room ROCKS! It's bigger than everyone elses - I have a couch & a bath! Ah, thank God for no water restrictions over here! The room here, with sea views, is about 3 or 4 times as big as our London digs! Shame we're only here for 2 nights! The lift access is very cool - like the one James Bond has a fight in during Diamonds Are Forever but the overall design of the hotel does have a Norman Bates feel to it. Mmmm paisley lime green wallpaper!

Well, The Tim, Dan & Ange Show somehow made it out of London & to Bournemouth without getting lost! It was a hilarious 2.5hr drive with much merriement. We pulled out @ 0645 and were parked at The Pavillion (our venue) by 0930! We even had time for breakfast where I had my first coffee in about 2 weeks - bad idea, bad, bad idea! About 5mins back into our journey, caffine hit... I scared even myself in such a confined space! They don't do coffee well over here and they sure haven't heard of soy milk. The advertising sign at the Roadhouse said it all - "Good coffee. Honestly!" With signs like that, why would you trust them...?

London Season went really well & a big shout out to the crew of The Peacock. They were a great venue to have as a first & we've sworn that there will be times on this tour where we'll wish we were back there. The Pavillion crew were great too but we only knew them for a day but they did their duty & took us to the pub for lunch & tea! Show went really well in Bourne. Came back really well & only needed to butcher the rig a bit. Learnt another couple of small lessons. Scary relly seeing as it was our first One Night Stand & the three of us hadn't really done it before but we were bascically ready by 1630.... ain't gonna be like that every time. Probably tomorrow when we hit Oxford!

We went out & explored the night life of Bourne last night in the rain. It's basically a student town & also where old people go to retire (I was going to say die but that wouldn't be right!). 1st pub was in, beer, shaking of the heads & then bailing. Same for the second but the third place was great. A kind of African decorated place that was playing retro/80's music which kept us entertained. They also served sheesha - one of my old friends form Doha! Yay! We sat out on the balcony section & all these students kept rotating past us and chatting. It's their O Week & it was a great night. Met a whole bunch of weird & crazy, well, kids I guess! By the end of the night we were all dancing up a storm! My highlight was starting a huge kickline, can-can style, to the part of "Come On Elieen" where they start chanting & it builds up faster & faster. Thankfully there's no footage.

Speaking of footage. When you walk the streets in England, this loud voice comes on & says "You are being filmed on CCTV. If anything is reported in this area, we have a record of the time you were here." It's scary & I suppose it's meant to make you safe but the first few times it's quite wrong. It also happens around Car Yards.....

We've got 3 days in Canterbury later on this week & I hope to post some more photos then. Hope you're well dear reader & catch you soon from somewhere in the UK.