Tango Tech Reflects

Well, there generally comes a time on tour when one sits back & takes a long, hard look at ones self, life, future & re-evaluates. This here, be one of those times - en route by bus from Fairmont, West Virginia to Danville, Kentucky.

Don’t get scared, it’s not bad news, just that I’ve had a little more time with only my thoughts since losing my ‘lounge room’ @ Atlanta! The music is the thing I miss the most. Whiling away the hours, listening to tunes that remind me of events, people & places, which in turn, reminds me of other music. I guess also for me, having everything in storage, the music is the only area or part of life that identifies me. Combine that with the loss of the Passport & one has to wonder…. Am I being erased…?

The tour has been a lot of fun & there are more developments ahead in the direction that ‘Tango Fire’ may take. The ‘09 sched is looking like I’d be away pretty much most of the year. I’ve made the commitment to stay as Tango Tech until this time next year, which is what was known/scheduled when I was offered the gig. I guess that’s where this ‘Passage Of Reflection’ is born from : do I now look to extend my Journeyman role and be of ‘no fixed address’ for the next 2 years before staking a claim on a piece of land and finally unpacking my suitcase…?

I don’t in anyway regret the decision to resign form the Arts Centre & a very safe & secure lifestyle that I had no complaints about. I had been saying for a year or so that I felt like there was a year of change coming & it my friends, has truly arrived!! The risk of resigning was huge in regards to if the Tour folded or I hated it but, thankfully neither has happened. After my one month jaunt with my brother & about a month in Aus, we next head out to Latvia, Spain & Holland before touring Aus & New Zealand but unfortunately bypassing Melb & Hobart.

In a certain way, there also seems to be tension in the air. Not all the time but there’s a definite extra something palpable in the air at times. It’s not from any one person or event and as I’ve reported before, I feel more accepted, more of an amigo to the Company than I ever have before, so it’s a weird feeling. Guess that’s what maybe putting me slightly off kilter at the moment.

There’s been certain days where I know that I haven’t been my normal self. Toni, our Tour & Company Manager, picked up quite early in the UK Tour that if I’m quiet, something’s wrong. When I am quiet - and those moments are few & far between, it’s not that I’m unhappy per se, but that something’s on my mind, that I’m processing or digesting something. Even for me, I know that ‘that’ mood has been more apparent this tour & I can’t put my finger on it. Hence why it probably circles around & is more tangible.

After New York I had what could best be described as a decent bout homesickness for a week or so. Not that I didn’t want to be on the tour or that I longed for my bed, a house, close proximity to summer sun, fun & beer @ at a BBQ but something else. Most likely that the brain had finally processed the finality of locking the Storage Garage Door 3 days before departing Australian shores for the US.

I’m not going to lie & say that I don’t miss my family & friends because I do. Thanks to the wonders of modern technology though, an “Aussie Quick Fix” is never that far away. I also know that I have had an incredible & enviable opportunity placed before me, one which I’m enjoying immensely - well, save St Albans, UK & Fairmont, USA! (Fairmont Blog entry to follow!) A prime example of this is Dan, Jorgelina (pronounced : Hor-hor-lean-a) & I coming back to the bus after lunch today & Jorge starting to sing “Barbara Anne” by the Beach Boys & then the three of us sliding across the asphalt, clicking our fingers and singing appallingly. Those moments are definitely the ones that will always be the memories you take away from experiences like these. There’s no judging, no questions asked. You either back that person up in their moment of madness or let them carry on.

As I’m sure I mentioned back in the UK Blog entries, on tour you do work tightly as a unit. You tell people things that usually take years of friendship to tell. You live, eat & breath with each other pretty much until you go to bed. Deep bonds form with people quite quickly. These new amigos of mine are a great group to tour with & there’s not a bad egg in the bunch.

Has this entry been in vain..? Have I made you all panic that I’m some kind of newly developed manic depressive…? Has it been good to verbalise (technically speaking) my inner monologue…? Yes, yes it has!

You don’t need to worry, I’m still the fun loving, happy go-lucky guy that I always was, just having an internal Dr Phil moment!!