Floris & Paul were a fine addition to the Tango Fire family and even better was, they were actually real people! (remember Trevor Pastrami.....?) Now we could have been stuck with two boring, non-talented, slow, uninteresting crew but we lucked out. They were two great blokes who seemed quite surprised by the fact that we insisted on helping with the Load Out & actual set up. It seems as if the actual touring people in Holland send people out ahead to set it all up for them & then leave as they pack it all up! As much as it would have been great to do a ‘Briefcase Gig’ Tour (where you walk in, open the briefcase, do the show, close briefcase and leave) but it’s not the way that Dan or I work, especially as we’re used to the current schedule we have.
It was also great touring with insider knowledge. Pretty much every town, they knew where the best deal meal was to be found or would go out and do reconnaissance whilst Dan & I did soundcheck (well Dan did that!) and I adjusted FOH LX. Ribs became a favourite – especially when it was “All You Can Eat”! Gold! I don’t know why, maybe it’s because we eat a decent amount of red meat in Aus but I have never seen a restaurant advertised as an Argentine Steakhouse but throughout Holland (& many other parts of the world we’ve travelled) they’re everywhere!! Weird!
Prob the best place we ate was quite early on in the peace. It cost 18 Euro but it was an all you can eat, Asian BBQ/Wok Eatery! There was a selection of fresh meats & veg etc that you took up to the grill/BBQ section & then a separate selection of noodles, meats etc that you took to the wok chef. There was also a food warmer that contained your stock standard, always warming spring rolls, prawn crackers etc but had not a scratch on the fresh option. You could take up, in a bowl, as much or as little of each ingredient as you liked, add a sauce/spice if you so desired and within 10mins it was all cooked & served up right before your very eyes!! It was gold! You know when you order a seafood dish & you exclaim, “Only 4 prawns..?”, not in this place! This was also where I tried frogs legs for the first time & I’m happy to say that firstly, I went back for more & secondly, the stories are correct, they do taste like chicken!
One of the most unique dinner breaks we had was we had BBQ! Paul & Floris went off and bought these tin foil-esque BBQ’s that came filled with brickettes and a grill in place. They cost about 3 Euro each and then they bought a few different cuts of meat and we sat outside one of the venues, in the sun (such a rarity these days for me) and had a great feast!! Nice! It was even nicer to have a beer to wash it down with. Was a great, although small, taste of an Aussie Summer that we missed out on.
Side note : when asking for the bill in Holland, you ask for the rech-koning. The Reckoning – in the end, everyone pays! Myself & Dan got great milage out of this!!
The guys also opened our eyes to a freakendell speciale – a snack food of sorts. The way they described the freakendell is how we describe dim sims – all the bas bits of meat like hte hooves, noses etc is made into this sausage type thing. Sounds delicious!! BUT – when you make it “speciale” by adding in a curry sauce and some chopped, raw onions, you got yourself a tasty snack! It was also great to get back into the world of the croquette (a taste sensation that I became addicted to last time I was in Holland). They are one of the best damn snack foods of all time! The Dutch, & this is a bold statement, do snack food possibly better than us Aussies...! I love my snack foods & crave dim sims upon returning home – Big M’s too but that’s a whole different category! Anyhoo, croquettes are like an European version of a Chicko Roll I guess! Same crusty/golden/crunchy coating with different variations of meaty/vegetable fillings! They are really good & easily rival our dimmys!
There were a couple of great moments whilst walking the streets of Holland during our dinner breaks. In one town there were these telegraph type ‘play’ poles that had a seat attached to them and when you sat on the seat and pulled some levers or pedalled on the pedals, it made things attached to the poles do stuff – windmill spin, flags wave etc. Me being a big kid, I sat down and had my turn on one of the poles. I felt this tap on my shoulder & turned around and there was this little, blonde Dutch girl, around 4yo, who looked sternly at me and then berated me in Dutch, nodded her head & returned to her mum sitting near by! Paul & Floris burst out laughing as apparently I was told, “These toys are for little kids, not big kids. Go find your own”..!! Dan had his finest moment when he wanted to buy another pair of pants. We were out looking & had separated from Floris & Paul & Dan came across a pair that he seemed to like the look of. The sales assistant mentioned something (in Dutch) to Dan but of course we didn’t quite understand! He wanted to buy them & then wear them out of the store. The assistant kept gesturing about something & finally allowed Dan to pay for the pants & then return to the fitting rooms to put them on. Whilst he was getting changed, Paul & Floris came back & the sales girl talked to them & they then informed me what she had been saying....! We waited until we were walking out of the store & we asked Dan if his pants felt like they didn’t have as much room as normal...? He wasn’t sure & looked at us, quite suspicious... At that point we couldn’t help ourselves & informed him of the fact that he had purchased a pair of ladies pants!!
Another great aspect of having Floris & Paul around was that they were just as silly (smart) as us! Our senses of humour clicked very well & within the first few days we had about 10 ‘in’ jokes running that only multiplied over the following weeks. They picked up some of our sayings and vice versa & just to be sure, we created a few that were joint collaborations between the four of us!
From Paul & Floris we received :
“And now we dance” – which was said when a task was completed or a decision made, at which point, all four of us would do a little jig.
“Mini wave” – which could be shouted anywhere, anytime and you had to wave your arms like you were taking part in a Mexican wave.
“Hello
Licht Nict & Audio Boon – the Lighting Gay & Sound Farmer! They’re common theatre nicknames across Holland & it was great to introduce yourself to crews (over coffee!) as the Licht Nicht as it put you on the front foot because you knew about & accepted their theatre sense of fun.
From us, Paul & Floris received :
“Do, do-do” – which is a ‘describing’ noise I make when telling a story (I like stories!) that fills in the action of doing something. eg “I was unpacking the shopping. Do do-do. And then read the note.” It’s a noise that I’ve made for years & the boys latched onto it & it became standard chatter!!
Pirate noises – there would come a time each day where one of us would break into Pirate speak... “Arrrr! We set sail for dinner at 6pm” etc. Why..? Nobody knows!! Paul was great & brought in the “Pirates Of The Caribbean” theme which only made it all the more worse... well, better actually!
“Que Cheracho” (care key-ruck-o) – Spanish for “What the f*ck!”
Probably the one that we created together was formed over our dinner breaks. Paul was always on the lookout for ice cream of some kind for dessert & from that one day he went “I scream”, to which another replied, “You scream”, followed by Idiot Number 3 adding “We all scream” & just so the fourth didn’t feel left out, they added, “For ice cream!” And so it was done! That popped up at many times over the course of the tour. Many times it fell apart as we all waited for someone else to add the next line...! If we’d rehearsed it and had a dedicated line each there probably wouldn’t have been any hassles but it also wouldn’t have been allowed to have the legs that it did!!
There were many more, silly things that came and went or lasted for the length of one day but the above stuck through til the end of the tour & I’m hoping that they will continue what we have ‘taught’ them, long after we’ve gone as I know we will take Mini Wave & our Dutch nicknames with us where ever we travel.
We’ve already seriously discussed meeting up again when we’re in Hamburg later on in the year! That will be a great moment.
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